sincerely squid

dear readers,

for some of you that know me well, know that i have a slight, an itsy bitsy have you, problem of rambling when i am nervous or over explaining that which wasn’t cared enough about to be explained in that much detail to begin with. others might also realize that i have brought this gift into my store.

today was another classic tiffany moment in which after the customers left i thought, “tiffany you need to attend a help group.” 

you see the issue is (so it begins again) i am a classic over-analyzer. i over analyze everything. some thing my husband has to suffer with i am afraid. late at night andrew’s name is whispered and thus begins the story of his dark circles. at least i do it at night, andrew without a doubt starts analyzing something that happened to him whenever i am in the middle of a show i really like or a page i want to finish. i at least wait until he is completely dead asleep. yes, i know, i am full of kindness.

in this store i have put SO SO much thought into every detail, every book, every product, every SINGLE ounce of space and with the smallest budget known to man kind. being a start up there are a lot of obstacles, i can not just order every item i see, or the entire catalog like a lot of places can. not that i would ever do that anyways, but the point is i can’t even think about it. i am strict with my budget because trust me in this industry, i can see so easily a budget like mine getting used up in minutes. 

i am not one of those chain stores that refer to themselves as a boutique and will go nameless in this blog, that have started to pop up everywhere and are slowly and honestly killing what a real boutique is. i don’t have their income, their help, or their buyers.

its just me.

i am by no means complaining either, i love it, i like it this way, but know that it has its obstacles that keep me up late at night staring out windows, writing on lots of scraps of paper, and praying that what i should do will become clear. 

so when a customer asks me a question, sometimes i spill everything out, all these thoughts that have gone into why or why not. of course its too much information and of course as i am spilling open inside my mind i am screaming, “danger danger, too much, turn back, turn back, great scott woman shut your mouth!”

its usually too late. the customers eyes are usually too glazed over to turn back. and i am left giving this half i am so sorry smile. it appears almost like a wince. 

i was talking to a woman that i will be carrying her (fabulous) line of cards shortly, and she said, “My husband always contends I say things in 50 words what he would say in 5.” 

its true and it really depends on my nervous level at the time as well too. 

so today when my customer asked if i planned on carrying, the plan toys doll house. i should have just said, “actually, no. i am going with another company and their design for a doll house for the holidays.” instead she got about 30 minutes of a mind tour. i have spent so much time thinking about that, and that is why she got that, but she had no idea that she would open the tomb of crazy.

though i love plan toys, and am getting in a large order for the holidays. my mission is not to have every item one company has, it is for variety and truly finding as many unique and fantastic items as i can. i can not invest too much into any company, and i have a fear of losing the identity of the store through that which is easier. 

of course i am always open to special ordering anything, that is never a problem. i did manage to get that out to her in between, “small pieces” and “kitchens, living rooms, toy rooms.”

please do not fear asking. i am working on one word replies. i promise. 

and in the end all that really matters is that addis gets me. she often scares off the neighbors with her smashed face and large under bite, though the sweetest girl in the world inside.

i just do it with incessant speech that i swear is sounding so much better inside.